Self-Made Man
I read through Norah Vincent’s Self-Made Man couple of days ago. Since then, I’ve had the time to sort some of these things out and observe for myself the things that she points out in the book. First of all, a short synopsis: Over a period of 18 months, Norah Vincent, a female journalist, becomes Ned, a man. As Ned, she looks at the world from man’s perspective, infiltrating various places where women would not have access to and experiencing things that women would not typically experience.
Through out the book, she finds that being a man isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be, that it’s not a bastion of empowerment that it’s portrayed to be. Being a man comes with their own set of headaches and problems and that some feminists’ approach of bringing woman over man may not be the best approach since we’re all so closely linked and related. She makes some very astute observations that as a man, I had unconsciously followed without even realizing it. After reading through her observations and comments, I was able to consciously notice the type of bond that happens in a male relationship and the possible problems that rises with issues of intimacy and communication between men.
For me, the most interesting parts in the book dealt with Ned’s attempts at dating other women. As a lesbian, Norah was able to separate issues stemming from gender from the one stemming from sexuality. She notes that many women’s expectations of man are flawed and conflicting, and that their previous relationships that may have been a result of a specific person ends up being attributed to the entire male gender, where all males are stereotyped into a certain negative image. This means that each new man not only has to prove himself, but also have to take the burden of all the other relationships that may have come before him. I’m sure the reverse is true and I guess that’s what Hank Williams meant when he sang Cold Cold Heart.
Another love before my time
Made your heart sad an’ blue
And so my heart is paying now
For things I didn’t do…
Interestingly, I found the book to be sometimes overtly sexual, but that might just be from my lack of real world experience… If Sex In the City is any indication, maybe I shouldn’t be too surprised. At the very least, this book is an entertaining and thought provoking look at just how different the two different genders are and just how similar and linked the two different genders are.